Liken them [the scriptures] unto yourselves, that ye may have hope.. 1Nephi 19:24 .

It has been almost a month now since my father, Harold Joseph Horrocks, passed away. He died peacefully from Hodgkin's Lymphoma cancer on February 26, 2013 (on Teresa's birthday). He didn't even know he had cancer till a week before his death. I don't cry as often as I did a few weeks ago, but I have my moments and it is still hard to believe that he is gone from this mortal life and into that next phase of existence. I often wonder what he is doing. I am sure he is not just sitting around, but he is on the Lord's errand.... perhaps working at the veil, preparing spirits to receive their temple endowments when we do the work for them, help keep records in heaven or perhaps singing in the heavenly ward choir! I'm sure I miss him more than he misses me because the work goes on and he is anxiously engaged in a good cause...just in a different realm.

 During this sad and stressful time however, I have had a renewed appreciation for the scriptures. In my sadness and despair I have found comfort in the words of the scriptures. They remind me of the great Plan of Salvation and the hope it gives me for the eternities. It has been in place since it was introduced in the spirit world and we can look forward to the next stage of the plan if we keep the commandments and endure to the end..... we can be together again as families, living in the presence of our father in heaven. When I think of how wonderful it will be being with my own earthly father again, how glorious and exciting it seems to be with my heavenly father too.

My father's passing was a spiritual experience too. Though there are times I wished it wasn't happening, I would never trade the sweet peaceful spirit that surrounded him in his final weeks and days. These are a few of the things I said at his funeral March 4, 2013:

The veil was very thin through the last week of his life. Through the tender mercies of the Lord dad continued to teach me about the kind of man he was spiritually. After his death I was reading my scriptures and the spirit bore witness to me that this verse was true of my father.

For I truly had seen angels and they had ministered unto me. And also, I had heard the voice of the Lord speaking unto me in very word, from time to time; wherefore, I could not be shaken. Jacob 7:5

Some things my dad taught me that week:

•He had great faith: In a quiet momemt together he told mom that he had a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and wanted to know if she had one too

•He understood the plan of salvation and the doctrine of eternal families

•When he decided not to seek chemo treatments I asked him if he wanted to go home. He said YES. Do you want us to take you home today with mom? No. Then what home do you want to go to? His eyes opened wide and he said "I don’t want you to put me in a home!" I won’t, we want to take you home with mom. He replied "I want to go home to my heavenly father"

•He asked the bishop to come to the hospital and give him a blessing. He very clearly told the bishop "I want you to release me from this life AND MY WIFE too so we can go home to our heavenly father"

•He LOVES my mom and knew she would be ‘his sweets’ for eternity, but I don’t think he wanted to leave her behind. He called for her repeatedly the last few days and said over and over "marilyn, marilyn…Let’s go; come on, let’s go"

•He wanted to "go home" but was disgusted everytime he woke up and was lucid enough to realize he was still on earth. "I can’t even die right!"

•He was obedient: in a conversation with Leann, she told him that it was okay if he went home to heavenly father first and when the time was right maybe he could be like Joseph Smith and come and get mom when it was her time. He smiled and said "I would like that"….then paused and said "but I don’t know the rules of heaven yet"

•He understood Agency, choices and Perserverance: After our family fast: he said to the nurse: "I have a lot of hard choices to make and some of those choices include dying….but I have made one decision, I’m going to join the ward choir." But grandpa…I thought you were kicked out of the ward choir when you were a young man because they said you couldn’t sing? He laughed "I know!" and then he started humming. The scriptures don't say you have to be musically talented, they say:

Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all the earth; make a loud noise, and rejoice, and sing praise. Make a joyful noise in heaven!  Psalms 98:4

He was not ashamed of the gospel or his membership in the church. When my aunt and cousins came to the hopsital my aunt leaned over and said "Uncle Harold, I hope the nurses don’t know you are a Mormon or they might think you have 7 wives with all of us women in here." When the nurse came in the next time he got her attention and said "I just want you to know, I’m a Mormon" Romans 1:16

•He showed us by example how to "endure to the end"… not just endure, but to endure WELL

Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.   2Nephi 31:20

Though he was more a quiet observer than a great orator when it came to expressing his feelings, I know his most treasured possessions were his family and the gospel of Jesus Christ. Dad loves his children, grand children and great grandchildren very much. And if he were having a PPI with you, he would be most pleased if

•you would choose to live the gospel everyday;

•gain a testimony for yourself of the divinity of the Savior Jesus Christ and the plan of salvation;

•and live your life in such a manor that one day he can greet you on the other side of the veil with open arms into our eternal family.

Thank you dad for teaching me the gospel by living it and giving me the opportunity to serve the Lord more fully these last two week, by serving you. His parents family motto was:

Choose you this day whom ye shall serve….but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.   Josuah 24:15

I am at peace knowing dad went home on his own terms with his love of family and testimony of the gospel in tact. I know he will be there waiting for all of us when it is our time to return to our heavenly home. Through all his trials..... especially in the last 4 years…. he has remained gentle, sweet, kind, and funny—Never complaining, but continuing to press forward day by day slowly, steadily, and unhurried.

One last scripture I came across recently that stood out to me regarding my dad:

And I soon go to the place of my rest, which is with my Redeemer; for I know that in him I shall rest. And I rejoice in the day when my mortal shall put on immortality, and shall stand before him; then shall I see his face with pleasure, and he will say unto me: Come unto me, ye blessed, there is a place prepared for you in the mansions of my Father. Amen.   Enos 1:27

Iloveyouthemostdad

Helaman 5

I have been a little distracted lately, but really no excuse.  I have had lots of things while reading that I think "Oh! I should write that on the blog" but it gets to be more and more and so I'm just going to do the last thing I read and took notes on that I thought I should put on here.

Helaman 5 -

Such a good chapter.  Here are some things specific from the chapter I found as I really tried to dissect and focus on parts of the chapter (as well as get the entire chapter idea)

*Verse 2 starts out and tells of a very scary and all too similar events....
2 For as their laws and their governments were established by the ^avoice of the people, and they who ^bchose evil were ^cmorenumerous than they who chose good, therefore they were^dripening for destruction, for the laws had become corrupted.

Hmm.... there are many times today that I think, "Oh great....it seems like the righteous and moral ways of doing things are so far gone that we are just 'ripening for destruction.'  I'm glad there are still lots of people that nod and say "good for you" when they find out you're married, only have been with one other person, are staying home to raise kids, don't drink or smoke, etc.  Especially at the drs offices here, I get "no really...any time in your life.....oh ok good for you."  It IS possible even though lots of people think it's not and it's "okay" to do all those things.

*Verse 6 & 7
This verse talks a lot about names and remembering those that you are named after. I do have written in my scriptures to remember Grandpap, especially since he was a first generation LDS member.  I really enjoyed looking through the book Grandma Creek sent and finding out that Grandpap searched for over 3 years to find the right church.  And especially living out in the county, I'm sure this was a feat. It wasn't just walking from one church corner to another in town.....I'm thinkin he really had to search.  And once he found it, He knew.  So I try to think about verse 7 that says "I would that ye should do that which is good, that it may be said of you..."  I want Grandpap to be proud of his posterity and have my name reflect goodness.  Hopefully, if there are future generations that hold my name, they can do the same and I will be someone good to look to for an example.

*Verse 12
Of course lots of people know this verse that talks about "the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation."  This is true. I thought of two songs while I was reading it and wrote them in.  First, for obvious reason, How Firm a Foundation. I love that hymn and how it's upbeat and the words.  Once you really look at the words of hymns, it means a lot more.
But I thought a lot about the 'simple' song Wise Man and the Foolish Man in the Primary book. The kids in my ward sang that for their primary sacrament meeting portion (and I got to see it like, every week since I'm the chorister) but they would sing it so absolute. And actually, the hand motions got me.  Mostly when he "house on the sand washed away."  I'm not too keen on water, so the thought of being washed away in a flood of water and drowning is about the worse thing ever for me to imagine.  And so really, I want my foundation to be strong so I don't get swept away in the flood.  Just like today (oh here comes the analogy, look Mom you did so well to teach us analogies).  We have so many worldly things that can take our attention and "wash us away" from the things that are good and weaken our foundation.  But if we stay firm in our faith and rely on Christ as our center and focus on Him, the storm can rage, but we can be protected. Such a comforting thought, especially since I worry so much about the world that Bronson will live in someday.  Are you kidding me? How can it get worse? Killing little kids in schools? No right and wrong? Everyone is 'entitled' to everything? Ugh....but I know it will only get worse and the only way to handle it is with the help of the gospel.

*Verse 24
So background, Lehi and Nephi are out preaching and get thrown in jail. Then there's fire around them.  But they aren't burned (vs 23).  
I actually got a lot out of the next verse "And when they saw that they were encircled about with a pillar of fire, and that it burned them not, their hearts did take courage."

So, I might be wrong, but here is what I kinda got out of that verse. It might be just me and I don't doubt that Lehi and Nephi were faithful and awesome in every way, but I kinda got a little reminder that they were people too.  They had normal human traits.  Because, um hello? There's fire all around you. Your first reaction - fear, right? I'm sure they were surprised and had a moment of fear.  However, they knew they were doing what was right and they did have the faith and the knowledge of how Heavenly Father works miracles, so after they saw that they weren't going to be burned, they took courage and were ready for the next part to come. They were ready to show the people the power of God.
We can do this everyday.  Of course there are lots of moments of fear that come in the blink of an eye, but we must step back and (hopefully) see that we aren't getting burned up and are finished, but we can keep going and have faith and take courage and know that Heavenly Father is behind us.

*Verse 30 & 46 - Voice of the Spirit
The Holy Ghost speaks to the people and "it was not a voice of thunder, neither was it a voice of a great tumultuous noise, but behold, it was a still voice of perfect mildness" (vs 30)
"a pleasant voice" (vs 46)  
I liked the adjectives used.  It makes me think about what to listen for. Sadly, I'm not very good at listening to the Spirit.  I know I get too distracted in things of the world and can't hear because I'm listening for something like thunder to totally catch my attention. But the Spirit doesn't work like that. We have to be centered on Christ and have the attention to detail and be paying attention for that quiet voice of "perfect mildness" with a "pleasant voice."  I know I need to do better to listen and want to. A good reminder.

*Verses 23 & 45 - Fire
Fire is mentioned in these verses and two very different ways.
First, fire is mentioned in 23 talking about them being surrounded by fire.  It goes on to mention that the Lamanites couldn't touch them because of the fire and also scared them and made them pay attention. In verse 26, Lehi and Nephi tell them to not be scared because it was a "marvelous thing" to show them they couldn't hurt them and the power of God was with them.  Then it goes on that there's a mini earthquake, darkness and then the voice is heard. It takes this huge act of fire and their fear for them to pay attention.
Then in verse 45, it talks about the Spirit entering the Lamanites hearts "and they were filled as if with fire."
So it took fire of two kinds to get their attention and make them understand. First the like actual fire that gets them to stop being dumb and pay attention and then the feeling of the spirit which testifies 'with fire' to tell them it was true and they needed to repent.

In the end, there are Lamanites that believe and try to teach other non-believing Lamanites. So there was good that came from this experience.


*So....I really enjoyed this chapter and I understood and followed the teachings and actual events that happened with Nephi and Lehi (goal) and loved that there was a range of things for me to think about (goal) from the voice of the Spirit, to being faithful and having a firm foundation in todays crappy world, to thinking of how the we are taught in so many ways.