I just finished the Book of Mormon. My goal was to make it by the end of the year. I made it with an hour to go. I am amazed at the caliber of man that Moroni is. He lived his whole life knowing war and battle, and has faith and commitment to the Savior that he delivers the wonderful lesson on Charity. I am impressed that he could be so in tune with the spirit during a lifetime of war and still be able to share such important words on Charity and love.

 I am saddened by the book of Ether. What a sad tale of a people who allowed sin to completely destroy them. It started off so promising with the brother of Jared, but ultimately, led to destruction. Coriantumr had the chance to repent, but did not take the opportunity and witnessed the destruction of his people. I'm glad to have the Book of Mormon in my life. As I read its pages every day, I am filled with the spirit. What a great way to end the year!

 Happy New Year!

Smart-phones and Ipods are nothing new

I was reading in 1 Nephi 16 and realized Smartphones are nothing new--Lehi had one while they were in the wilderness---it was just in the form of a round brass ball with curious workmanship on it called the Liahona (meaning compass).  It may not have looked like a smartphone, but it worked like one!  It had communications from the Lord on it through text messaging, a GPS to point them in the right direction (wonder if it ever text "recalculating" when they were not faithful!), find food and other things. (is that how Nephi built the boat?--were written instructions and images 'posted' on the Liahona from time to time? :) 
The only difference between the two is that you have to pay monthly for a smartphone and be tech-savy to use it, whereas with the Liahona it worked "according to the faith and diligence and heed which we did give..."  Is it easier to pay a bill and learn the technology than to be obedient?
Would you follow the cousel given if a smartphone or ipod told you everything you needed to do to be happy in this life? I guess it could if you downloaded the scriptures onto it AND used them.

Have ye inquired of the Lord?

As I read 1 Nephi 15 today, the first eleven verses seemed new--as if I had never read them before.  They spoke to me and touched my heart because I could identify with them and apply them to myself and family today. Nephi has just come back to his father's tent after having his own experience with the Spirit testifying, confirming and explaining to him the things which his father had seen and heard and finds his brothers arguing about these very things because they don't understand them.  Nephi acknowledges that they are hard to understand....... unless you pray about them.  He became 'grieved' or mentally distressed listening to them because he knew through the spirit what their fate and the fate of his people would be in the future because of the hardness of their hearts and their disobedience to the Lord.  Nephi says,

 "...I was overcome because of my afflictions, for I considered that mine afflictions were great above all......"

Logically I know my afflictions are not 'great above all', but they can sure feel like it when you are in the midst of them, especially if it involves family or something close to your heart.  I have felt like that the last few months....grieved.  Sometimes we can see things clearly and are distraught when those around us do not recognized or understand the same things. The phrase 'have you inquired of the Lord?' really stood out in chapter 15.  Nephi had....but his brothers had not.  They had not even considered this option as a way to understand their father's teachings, but rather disputed among themselves trying to figure it out.  Nephi states: 'they did not look unto the Lord as they ought.'  How often are we guilty of that ourselves?  How often do we feel we have to do things ourselves and we do not need anyone's help, including the Lords? Now that is definitely prIde.....very "I" centered. Once again I have to admire Nephi and the faith and strength he possessed.  He already knew what the fate of his people would be, but he did not give up and say 'why be good?  All is lost anyway.'  Nephi remained faithful and was a very righteous man.....but we know he was also human and had struggles and worries too.  He continued to inquire of the Lord throughout his life and worked to persuade mankind to come unto Christ.
Nephi tells his brethren in 15:11 'Do ye not remember the things which the Lord hath said?—If ye will not harden your hearts, and ask me in faith, believing that ye shall receive, with diligence in keeping my commandments, surely these things shall be made known unto you.'

I hope my family members who are struggling with afflictions they feel are "great above all" will not give up or harden their hearts against the Lord or the gospel. I hope they will keep living the gospel and be diligent to "inquire of the Lord" with faith concerning their struggles, even as the adversary plants feelings of hopelessness in their minds to throw them off course. I hope they will truly come to believe they can and will receive the guidance and counsel they need as they strive to be obedient.....a way is always provided for us through the atonement to come back and be and do better than we were before.

Have YOU inquired of the Lord lately with full purpose of heart?

....with all the feeling of a tender parent...

1 Nephi 8:37.....I love the above phrase used to describe Lehi as he told his family about his vision of the tree of life, exhorting them to heed his teachings and live the gospel.

Well today I want to wish our oldest daughter Claire a Happy 27th Birthday on 12-21-12.
I remember your 'birth' day well "with all the feeling of a tender parent".  What a blessing you have been in our lives.  You are a terrific wife, and awesome mother and a wonderful daughter. Iloveyouthemostestdearestoldestdaughterofminexoxomom





                        

Did Lehi live under the reign of King Josiah?

As I read about Lehi sending his son's back to Jerusalem to secure and bring back a set of scriptures (Brass Plates) for the family to take on their journey, I wondered if Lehi might have lived under the reign of King Josiah.

When I taught Seminary, one of my favorite and most obscure stories in the Old Testament became that of King Josiah found in 2 Kings 22-23 and 2 Chronicles 34-35.  A synopsis of King Josiah is found in the Bible Dictionary and sums up his rule as follows:

Josiah. (1) King of Judah, 641–610 B.C. (see 2 Kgs. 22–24; 2 Chr. 34–35). While still young, he made, under the guidance of Hilkiah, a thorough religious reformation, which extended to the northern tribes. He restored the temple, destroyed idolatrous images and the high places, put down the idolatrous priests, and celebrated a great Passover (2 Kgs. 23:21–23). During this reformation a book of the law was found by Hilkiah (2 Kgs. 22:8 f.; 2 Chr. 34:15 f.). It made at once a great impression, and led to the centralizing of all sacrificial worship at Jerusalem and the abolition of local idolatrous sanctuaries or high places. Josiah became involved in the war between Assyria and Egypt, and, though Pharaoh-Neco disclaimed enmity, Josiah met him in battle at Megiddo and was defeated and slain (2 Chr. 35:20–25; see also 2 Kgs. 23:29–30; Jer. 22:10–12, 18; Zech. 12:11). (2) Son of Zephaniah (Zech. 6:10).

I loved how Josiah was a righteous king....one of few during the Old Testament times... When he restored the temple and scriptures were found in the ruins he asked that they be read to him.  He was so moved by what he heard AND afraid of God's punishment because of how wicked and disobedient the Jews had become that he gathered the people together and had the scriptures read aloud to them too.  Then he did a thorough housecleaning so to speak to get rid of all the idolatry and restore his kingdom to one of righteous religious worship. Josiah reigned from 641-610 BC.....he died just 10 years before Lehi left Jerusalem.  I wonder if Lehi was in those crowds that listened to the reading of the scriptures and saw Jerusalem return for a time to a place of righteous worship....and then witnessed their fast decline again.  He tried to be a voice of warning to the people and they sought his life and he got out of town.  I wonder if he pondered on those things and through prayer and inspiration knew he could not leave the country without scriptures in hand.  If they hadn't secured the plates, they would have been like the Mulekites and slowly sunk to a state of not knowing the true gospel....they could not have remembered everything they needed to know.

It is the same for us today......it does not do us a bit of good to have the scriptures in our home or by our bed if we never open them up and read them. We will languish in half-truths and foolish traditions too if we are not constantly studying, pondering, remembering and applying the principles of the gospel that will lead to eternal life. Nephi says the scriptures are for our profit and learning.... and the Book of Mormon itself is full of things that Mormon and Moroni felt we specifically needed for our day to survive the challenges of the last days.  So..... GO BACK AND GET YOUR SCRIPTURES!  Dust them off and use them :)

Murmur, Murmur, Murmur

What does it mean to murmur?  In the dictionary as a noun it means  "an expression of discontent" and as a verb, "to complain in a low tone or in private".  The Book of Mormon talks a lot about murmuring in the first few chapters of Nephi.  People always comment on Laman and Lemuel and their murmuring and act as if they were terrible people.....even Sariah murmured about Lehi.....but has anyone ever stopped to think about themselves and their own 'private complaints and expressions of discontent', especially during difficult times?  I think we are all guilty of murmuring at times.....some of us more than others.

Here again, I am impressed with Nephi.  He must have been an exceptional child/youth. In Nephi 3:6 it tells us that Nephi would be favored of the Lord 'because thou hast not murmured'.  I bet he had his doubts about things now and again (check out 2:16...and the word "soften"), but he exercised great faith and was very trusting and obedient when it came to things pertaining to his father and the Lord. Verse 7 continues with that famous scripture mastery and primary song where Nephi declares:  'I will go and do....' pleasing not only his father, but the Lord.  We continues to see him demonstrate his faith, trust and obedience in chapter 4:6 when he says, "And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do".  That is like walking into a dark tunnel without being able to see the light at the end of it, but continuing on because you knew it was going to be there, no matter how far you had to walk in the dark before you found it.  So why was Nephi like this? Desire.  He had a desire.....(a strong wish or longing for; craving or wanting) to know the mysteries of God and to know if what his father was saying was true (2:16 again).  They had done some pretty drastic things of late and he went and prayed about them....sincerely....and got an answer.  It was much easier for him to follow the commandments of his father and the Lord because he went and sincerely asked if what they were being asked to do was right and true....just like Joseph Smith.  Once he received confirmation, it became easier to practice obedience, (tho the tasks he was asked to accomplish may have been far from easy) because he not only knew what he was asked to do was right, but he understood why.....and his testimony was strengthened.

Whining and complaining are two things that bug me the most....but it still exists in my own family!  I think much of our 'murmuring' can be traced back to not understanding the why of things because we haven't put our faith into action.  We only see what we have been asked to do, or live or practice, but do not take the time to study it out, ponder it, sincerely pray about it and gain a testimony of why we should be doing it and then apply it in our daily lives.  That is too hard!  It is soooo much easier to just complain about it.  When it comes to Laman and Lemuel, I personally do not feel that they were bad wayward teens or young adults. 2:12 tells us 'they did murmur because they knew not the dealings of that God who had created them'.  It probably began as a case of "in the ear and out the other" when it came to gospel learning.  They probably knew all the SMA's (standard mormon answers) for gospel questions, but it was only imprinted in their minds and not their hearts.  They did not have a firm testimony of what their father was telling them was true like Nephi and they most likely never went to the Lord himself to ask either.  To their credit--they did leave Jerusalem with the family and left everything behind....and they did go back 2 more times to get the scriptures and wives like their father asked.  If they were truly wicked and defiant, they would have never heeded there father from the beginning. They would have stayed behind and enjoyed the riches and lavish lifestyle it would have afforded them.

I think they are like many of us today.  I think their failure to build their own testimonies led them to whine and complain about their situation more (which I'm sure was not easy or pleasant at times) and that led to poor choices (like being angry, beating up your brother, seeing an angel and having him rebuke you, and then murmuring AGAIN). One poor choice leading to another, which eventually led them to great wickedness.  Their desire to do good had ceased and that is when the adversary has full control of us.

Sariah also murmured against her husband.  Have I ever done that?  Sadly yes....  So what was she complaining about and how did Lehi respond to her?  I think she was a normal mother.....she was worried about her kids and it got the best of her in the end, given the fact she had to leave her home, all her friends and family, all her material things and journey out into a desolate place with a promise from her husband that the Lord was taking them to a better place. (Probably how some women felt when they finally reached and saw the Salt Lake Valley!) Then the boys were asked to go BACK.... I'm sure the journey back to Jerusalem was a long and dangerous one and the reception they would receive unknown.  We do not know how old her kids were, but a mother never stops worrying about them even if they are adults and seem intelligent, capable and mature.  She probably knew they didn't all get along either and after being gone so long maybe felt something bad had happened and that would only add insult to injury so to speak after all the effort it had taken to pick up and leave. I'm sure she lost it one day and went on a gripe session.....but I love how Lehi responds to her...perfect husband! So here is my take on her complaints from 5:2

• You are a visionary man!  Did she mean that he was a prophet and had seen visions or was she a bit overwhelmed at the moment and saw him as a man who had some very unpractical views, ideas or plans that seemed presently unworkable or doable...as in a dreamer?
• You took me away from my home and all I knew and loved!
• And now our sons are probably dead!
• And we are going to die too in the middle of nowhere!

And how did Lehi respond in 5:4-6?  

• Acknowledges, Yes, he is a visionary man!
• Explains why he has done what he did
• Goes over her concerns of taking her away from home, worries about her sons, etc
• Comforts her

He VALIDATED her feelings and REASSURED her rather than arguing with her and telling her she was crazy! Amazing! What more could you want from a husband? (okay there are other things, but....and ps, this is not a commentary on my husband in particular) Validation and reassurance are huge for women.  Knowing that the person you love the most recognizes your concerns, acknowledges they are valid, assures you have been heard and not ignored and then sticks around and gives you comfort because you are upset...and doesn't fall into the trap of stereotyping you and all women as 'crazy', now those are attractive qualities to find in a man.  Remember that son and son-in-laws, etc :)

When her sons return, Sariah is repentant and bears her testimony to them in verse 8 thereby letting not only her sons know, but her husband know that she believes him and supports him in his efforts to be obedient to the Lord.

Now to apply this all to my own life.  I would like to get to the point where the Lord would also say to me, "thou art favored of the Lord, because thou hast not murmured"

WAR.... What is it good for?

I, John, was truly touched by the tender mercies entry recently. There are many parts to that story that I did not know about and was touched as I read about them. Thank you for sharing that, I am very grateful for the many tender mercies, more specifically, that Claire survived!

 I have been reading in the war chapters in Alma and can remember as a younger man how cool the war chapters were and the bloodshed and fighting just was ... entertaining to this, then teenage boys' mind. Now as I am reading it again, I am amazed at the spiritual strength of the Nephite leaders - Moroni, Helaman, Teancum, and others. I believe it is their spiritual strength that enabled them to receive the inspiration on how to tactically fight against the much larger Lamanite army.

 I have been impressed time and time again at how they were able to outsmart the Lamanites over and over.                 Moroni protected all his cities by heaping up mounds of dirt, then pickets, then towers to defend against a Lamanite attack, more specifically the arrows of the Lamanites. This can be paralleled to how we protect what is most important to us, our families and testimony against the temptations of the adversary.

Helaman's stripling warriors were originally to be used as a decoy, but ended up fighting in the end and their faith was so strong that not a single one died. In Alma 57:21 we learn that these young warriors "did obey and observe to perform every word of command with exactness." This always makes me grateful for a loving mother who taught me to trust in the Lord just as these sons of Helaman were taught by their mothers. I am very grateful now for a wonderful wifey who is the mother of our little monster and is teaching him gospel principles in his early years.

Helaman, Teomner, and Gid outwitted the Lamanites getting them to retreat chase after a small portion of their army while the rest re-took the city of Manti.

Nephite prisoners were rescued and the city of Gid is taken without bloodshed.

All these and other stratagems employed by the Nephites in taking back their lands are a result of obedience to the commandments and the inspiration received by righteous men. This is obvious to me as later in the Book or Mormon as they become wicked, they begin to lose their battles and eventually are eliminated completely. Obedience is the key to revelation. I'm grateful good men (and women) who are obedient and who listen to the promptings of the spirit.

Momma P - please let me know if my comments above are appropriate for your blog

Goals

So, for the past few days, I've been thinking about how to approach this.  I, Claire, have had a few thoughts. I could really get into everything and study each chapter with talks, notes, books, etc.  I could do better at keeping a journal (cuz I need to do better in spiritual journal and regular journal). I could memorize some scriptures that help me. I could, I could.....

Here's what I think I've decided on. (But I can change! Just a warning!)

1. Being consistent.   This meaning for both myself and with Bronson.  I have been doing much better this year reading consistently (I had a hard time when I was working and then when i was a new Mom and really haven't done great since I was taking religion classes at the Y).  But I've been trying to read everyday and finally am back in the habit and really do enjoy it. I've been focusing on the choronological part of the BoM and really making sure I understand who is who, where different people orginated from, what happened, etc so I can know the stories better and then be able to recall them faster with the hope of applying those stories in real life situations.
With Bronson, we were good to read the Kids Scriptures when he was littler, but have had a harder time as he became, well, more crazy I guess. Right now, I'm trying to teach him to treat the scriptures nice and show him the pictures of Jesus, as that's what he likes and will sit there (and boy am I glad he DOES like Jesus!).  So, even if it's a verse, talking about the pictures, anything, I want to be better at reading with Bronson.

2. Knowing the Stories - Recently I have seen just how much Bronson listens and really does understand.  (Like the times, where he randomly points and says "Mom! Shadow! on the ceiling!" and I think... "he knows what a shadow is!? And that it's ON the CEILING?") So, I have decided to try and make the stories come to life for Bronson.  Even if this is only a FHE, once a week thing, I want to try and do pictuers and things that he can interact with as we talk about the story.  the Friend (church magazine) has pictures of different scripture stories you can cut out and put on a popsicle stick or paper bag to make puppet-like creations.  I did go through and get all of them out of the Friend and will laminate them (for durability) and use them in our FHE scripture nights.  Hopefully he will know characters and some basics, like Nephi and a ship, by the end of the year. Who knows? Maybe he'll be able to tell you the story or sing the song Nephi's Courage for you!  I'll use whatever I can think to help (visual aids, music, acting out, etc) and use those to help me teach him.  I am hoping that this will also help me get to the very basics of the story. For example, Nephi going for the plates - we'll talk about the Spirit and obeying. I am hoping in talking about these things in a basic, elementary way will help me remember and actually apply it in life more.
Figurines in the Friend found here- (remember to look up other past issues and get the other figurines)

3. Dissect Scripture - I would love to do this per chapter, but for now in life, when I read a chapter I want to pick one verse and really dissect it. Look up other scriptures on the topic. Know vocabulary/culture. Think about the how (application) and why (doctrine). I want to write at least this in a little notebook so I can remember the scriptures I did dive into. Example here - Romans 1:16

In sharing my goals, I'm hoping to have some accountability and have to report. Mom, you're welcome to ask, even if I'm ashamed at the answer. :) I'm looking forward to doing this and even am hoping that both babies will let me go and Experience! the Hill Cumorah Pageant again this year!!!! Anyone who wants to come is invited!!!!! It's awesome!

Tender Mercies of the Lord

Elder Bednar

1 Nephi 1:20 "....But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance."                           

Since I heard Elder Bednar's General Conference address on this topic back in 2005 this phrase has passed through my mind often and the tender mercies the Lord has bestowed upon me and my family.  Two events in particular stand out to me that remind me how very aware the Lord is of me personally.  One is my experience of being lost in Paris France after my passport was stolen in August 1980 and the other when Claire came down with Bacterial Meningitis in May 1990.

When Claire was 4 we were living in Alpharetta, GA.  Kayla was 16 months old and I had just found out I was pregnant with Carly.  Everything seemed to be going wonderful in our lives. As Mother's Day approached I was excited to call and tell my parents they would be grandparents again AND discuss the details of my mother and sister Leann's trip to see me in 4 weeks.  Leann had served her mission in Atlanta and was returning to tour her mission with mom and see us.  When I called on Sunday May 13th, mom told me Leann had been thinking about their trip and decided she didn't want to wait 4 weeks to come and felt impressed to change their tickets......I was a little dismayed to learn they were not coming in 4 weeks, but in 3 days! I wasn't ready for them!  All I could think about was everything on the calendar between now and Wednesday and how I was going to fit cleaning the house and making up beds for them by then too.  Little did I know our world would turn upside down before then, with Claire's life hanging in the balance and the tender mercies of the Lord revealed.

On Monday, May 14th I spent the day trying to clean the house while Claire was at Pre-school at Sister Briem's house with all her friends.  That night for Family Home Evening we went over to Mike and Joyce Haynie's house to celebrate a birthday and have cake and ice cream.  I had my first official doctor appointment to confirm my pregnancy the next day and Joyce offered to watch the girls for me.  Claire woke up in the middle of the night complaining that she did not feel good and told me "Mommy, I don't like cake anymore".  I called Joyce the morning of May 15th and told her Claire didn't feel good, but she told me to bring them over anyway and she could rest on her couch.  At the doctor's office they confirmed I was in fact truly pregnant and they started me on massive hormones so I wouldn't miscarry again.  I was thrilled!  I was due December 30, 1990.  Randy was thrilled---Tax Deduction!!
When I arrived at the Haynies, Joyce met me at the door with a very concerned look on her face.  She told me Claire had thrown up several times, was very hot with a fever and was pretty lethargic. I thought maybe she had the flu, so I took her home and set her up on the couch where I could monitor her.  All afternoon her fever crept higher and she slept for hours, except when she would cry out and complain her tummy and neck hurt.  Around 4pm I called Joyce back and asked her what she thought of me calling the new doctor she worked for and asking the advice nurse about Claire's fever.  (I had a regular pediatrician, but was very unsatisfied with them because they always treated me like I was a stupid first time mother and did not know anything about children and when to take them to the doctor or deal with it at home.) Joyce agreed, so I called the office and told them Claire's temperature was 105* and I was very concerned about letting her go through the night like that. I did not even have to touch her to know she was burning up....I could feel the heat coming off her as I stood near the couch! I also told the nurse Claire was very lethargic and would only open her eyes when I literally yelled at her to wake up.  They told me to come in just to ease my mind (the other office would have told me I was worrying too much).  I called Randy and asked him to come home and as soon as he walked in the door I could see alarm on his face as I carried Claire to the car and left him to deal with Kayla.

At the doctors office, I took Claire out of the car and layed her head on my shoulder as I started towards the front door.  Just as I got there Claire vomitted all down the back of me and cried, but never opened her eyes.  They directed me to a back room where they gave me a lab coat of some kind to change into and to keep Claire away from the other patients.  The minute the doctor came into the room I could see real concern spread over her face as she began to examine Claire.  She gave me a cautious look, but didn't speak at first.  [You have to know here that 2 months previously I had come to her for the first time to have her check out Kayla's eye.  I had been to my other Dr and they told me it was nothing, Kayla was just fussy and I just needed to give her some extra TLC for the day.  By that afternoon Kayla's eye had swollen to the size of a large egg and she just cried and whimpered as I rocked her.  Nothing would console her....so Joyce had recommended this new doctor in town and got me in to see her that afternoon.  When she examined Kayla she matter-of-factly stated I needed to take her to the ER immediately.  Can't even remember the diagnosis, but it caught me off guard and I broke down and cried as I called Randy.  The doctor was a foreigner and I guess did not know what to do with me and my emotions.  I told her this was just me and not to worry, but she thought I was hysterical and needed calming down.] Before she could say anything to me I said "Does she have meningitis?" She didn't confirm it, but asked why I would say that.  I told her it just came to me.  I was very calm.....and I think that's what scared her after witnessing my breakdown 2 months earlier.  She thought I was in shock and was going to go bullistic on her any moment. She asked my permission to give Claire a shot of a strong antibiotic in her leg [which I think saved her life] and then call an ambulance to transport her to Scottish-Rite children's hospital north of Atlanta.  I authorized it and then called Randy and asked him to meet me there with another priesthood holder so they could give her a blessing.  I did not know then how I held it together as I drove to the hospital behind the ambulance...but now I know it was one of those tender mercies.  I was very anxious in the ER as we waited for someone to come out and talk to us.  I kept telling the nurses I wanted my pastor to go in with my husband, but they told me it had to wait until after her spinal tap. As soon as they were finished the priesthood went in and gave her a blessing.  After that I felt peace.  I knew Claire's life was in the Lord's hands and I prayed the doctors would know what to do for her.  Shortly thereafter someone came to tell us that they had to do a 2nd spinal tap and I cried as I could hear Claire screaming, but they would not let me go to her.

When they wheeled Claire into the ICU I asked when I could see her.  They told me I wouldn't be allowed in her room because they understood I was pregnant and they did not want to risk my pregnancy.  I sat in the waiting room for a long time and finally rang the buzzer and told the staff I wanted to see my child.  Eventually I won because I finally said "Who do you think slept with her last night when she complained of birthday cake making her sick?  Who do you think has been with her all day?  Who do you think she threw up all over on the way to see the doctor?  ME! So if there's going to be anything wrong with my unborn child it has already happened."  The staff  still wanted to limit my time with Claire because of my pregnancy, so that evening Randy came to stay at the hospital all night and I went home to be with Kayla.

While I had been with Claire, Randy had the hard task of calling the family to tell them what was going on, but had little information to share with them other than she did have bacterial meningitis.
Early Wednesday morning, May 16th I woke to the phone ringing.  I panicked a little thinking it was Randy with bad news, but when I answered I could hardly understand the person on the other end because they were crying.  I finally heard, "is she going to die?" It was Randy's father, Elmer.  I was shocked. Their relationship was strained, especially since the divorce of his parents, so he was not the person I would have expected to call.  We spoke briefly and I tried to be reassuring saying we had to exercise faith and leave it in the Lord's hands and hope for her full recovery.  When I hung up the phone however I knealt down by the side of my bed and sobbed as I prayed.  I felt so overwhelmed and wondered what we were going to do.....will Claire be okay....what if she dies....who will watch Kayla so I can go to the hospital... how is Randy going to function at work....how are we going to pay the bills....how are we going to get through this?  As I knealt there a sudden warm, calming feeling washed over me and a very clear thought entered my mind...."your mother is coming today with your sister."  The very thing I had been dismayed by 3 days earlier turned out to be a huge tender mercy!
I always have to remind myself that while I see only a small piece of the puzzle, Heavenly Father sees the whole picture and knows exactly what I need and when. I have to do as my favorite scripture says and trust in Him.

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct they paths."   Proverbs 3:5-6

 A dear friend once told me, "you are only as happy as your saddest child".  I think I understand that much better today than I did a few years ago.  As I face a new family challenge I must remember to exercise my faith, trust in the Lord and pray that his promise of tender mercies in my life and the lives of my family will be recognized and appreciated.



If you are interested in reading Elder Bednar's General Conference talk in 2005 you can find it here: The Tender Mercies of the Lord--Elder Bednar

1st Nephi Chapter 1 Verse 1

Today I began reading 1 Nephi Chapter 1 in the Book of Mormon.  Verse 1 has been read by millions of people over and over and over again, but have they ever really thought about what it meant? I find several things interesting about this first verse. 

1. Nephi identifies himself personally. That might bring a 'duh' from the audience because of course he IS the author of this book. But why did he begin that way? Did you notice I began mine and never even mentioned who I was? I wonder if he was instructed to identify himself, or was taught it was proper etiquette, or was a tradition in his culture. I don't know, but it is nice not to have to wonder "who is this guy and what qualifies him to write this text?" Oh, and I'm Susan, by the way
2. Nephi states he was born of goodly parents.  I have often wondered why Nephi would begin his writings by telling us this.  What does the word "goodly" mean?  Just plain 'good' or does it go deeper, meaning goodly as in pleasant, desired, upright or affluent? It doesn't really matter to me right now.  I am just grateful he didn't write 'born of perfect parents'.  I am at that stage of life where I look back and think 'what kind of parent was I really?'  We all have pictures in our heads of what WE think we were like; what our children think we were like; what others think we were like and what we were really like.  Did I do everything right? No, but I can honestly say I tried and I was the best parent I could be at the time. I hope my own children's hearts will soften and know that too someday if they feel otherwise. I'm thankful I was born of 'goodly parents'....not perfect, but they gave me a solid foundation to build my life on, have been a positive influence my entire life and are wonderful to me and my family even today. Not everyone can say that.  Thank you Harold and Marilyn Horrocks!
3. Nephi was educated.....both spiritually, secularlly and culturally.  He was taught somewhat in all the learning of his father.  His parents were responsible people and saw to it that their children were educated.  Obviously he could read and write...both in Hebrew and Egyptian.  How many Jews of his day had that? He sounds intelligent when he writes and is able to explain situations and principles in a meaningful way.  Today we have all the tools around us to obtain a great education yet how many people take it for granted or throw it away?  I listen to the news and interviews sometimes and wonder 'where did they find these people? Do they even know what they are saying or how stupid or unintelligent they look and sound?  They can't even speak proper English!"  I know, unkind....but that is why many thoughts stay in my head and never come out....until today. I am thankful my parents taught me and educated me in 'their ways'.....now it is still up to me to use it all in a positive, meaningful way.  I am grateful Randy and I (yep, finally mentioned my husband's name) always valued education and planned our life so we could help our own children go on and get a higher education, both secularly and spiritually.  3 of the 4 have graduated from college so far and the last is on the path.  But more than secularly, I hope my children will continue to educate themselves spiritually.  I feel it is their spiritual education that will give them the most guidance and best hope for a great future.  I hope as adults they will continue to ponder the scriptures, serve in the church and make the gospel a central part of their lives.
4. Nephi did not have a perfect life.  He was a normal person!  He saw many afflictions in his days and suffered personal ones as well....but it is how he faced them and what he did about them that set him apart from his brothers.
5. Nephi was very aware of the Lord and His influence and relevance in his life.  This is what got him through life......his faith in Jesus Christ; his willingness to repent often; his partaking of the ordinances and living the commandments; his constant reliance on and guidance of the Holy Ghost and his hope for the blessings promised through obedience by (this is the really tricky one) continually enduring to the end (or SMF--steadily moving forward) no matter what obstacles he faced.  I hope to be like Nephi.

This picture of Nephi was draw by our friend and artist Chris White from Vancouver, WA.

the Official Email

Dear Family~

In Stake Conference recently the Stake Presidency introduced the focus and direction our stake will take for 2013 and asked us to participate in some way. I have thought about it a lot over the last 2 weeks and what I would like to do, but also feel impressed to invite you as family members to participate as well if you feel so inclined.

The focus is "Experience the Book of Mormon in 2013 ".  The stake has not asked us to experience it in one particular way, but to read it and have an experience with it over the next year. So to me, that does not mean you necessarily have to read it in order from cover to cover, but can take it topic by topic, story by story, principle by principle or focus on one principle the entire year and become a scripture expert in that topic---read it however it would be most meaningful to you right now.....as long as you are reading something from the Book of Mormon as often as possible until it becomes a meaningful habit everyday.

The stake has a website they have started (and I assume will add to) to help get people started.  There are reading charts, FHE ideas and additional resources like CES manuals and seminary materials to supplement your study.  You can take what ideas you want and personalize it for you.

the link is http://www.experiencethebookofmormon.com/2013/ 

I just finished reading the Book of Mormon as part of Gospel Doctrine study this year, but have started again today by reading the Title page, Introduction and testimonies.  I will begin 1 Nephi tomorrow.  I plan to read it cover to cover and bounce around with cross referencing when I come across something I want more insight to.  I think my personal focus will be to identify powerful 'one-liners' and other scriptures that personally inspire, motivate, uplift, and bring me peace as I approach age <editied>.  By the end of the year I hope to have an experience that is 'life changing' in a personal, positive way.

Hopefully I will be a better wife, mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, sister, daughter, friend, teacher, individual or something else....whatever the Lord has in store for me.

My plan is to start a blog or something where I can go and write about the 'one-liners' or verses that make an impression on me and how I feel about it.

  It would be fun for ME to hear about your experiences while reading the Book of Mormon too.

Sorry for the Epistle.....but if you got this far, I'm impressed....especially if you married into this crazy family!

I love you all the most and pray every day your testimonies will increase and you will WANT to live the gospel...not because you HAVE to, but because you GET to.

xoxoiloveyouthemostandthinkyouarethegreatestgiftsamothercouldhavexoxox